Funny Question and Answer Clean Jokes

These are the most crawly clean jokes and puns you'll notice. LOL with 'em at present.

Please keep reading this page until the very end. At that place'due south a expert reason for that. The funniest clean joke ever is at the terminate of this page. Plus, you lot'll bask lots of laughs along the style.

By the style, how would do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.

11 Funny Clean Puns For Kids, Teens, And Adults

Funny Clean Pun About The Dog And iPad — Some humans iPee similar the dog when they keep using their iPods and iPads.

If yous want to find out who loves you more than, stick your married woman and dog in the torso of your machine for an hour. When you lot open up the body, who is happy to see you?
What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
My granddaddy died peacefully in his sleep, different the screaming passengers in his car.
Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That style when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes.
How did the blonde die ice line-fishing? She was hitting by the zamboni.
How did the hipster fire his mouth? He ate the pizza before it was absurd.
What did the Buddhist inquire the hot dog vendor? "Make me ane with everything."
A golf ball is a golf ball no matter how you putt it.
Insect puns bug me.
My leaf blower doesn't piece of work. Information technology sucks.
What practise you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.

eleven Clean Jokes That Are Actually Funny

Clean Joke About Face Wash Commercial — Share this joke if you find it either funny or clean.

What practice you call sad coffee? Despresso.
Why did banana go to medico? Information technology wasn't peeling well.
What kind of jokes do you make in the shower? Clean jokes.
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? Put it on my bill.
What happens to a frog'south car when it breaks down? It gets toad abroad.
What never asks questions but receives a lot of answers? The telephone.
Why did the robber take a bathroom? Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
Teacher: "Which book has helped you the virtually in your life?" Student: "My father's checkbook."
My friend thinks he's smart. He told me an onion is the only nutrient that makes you weep, so I threw a coconut in his face up.
Math Instructor: "If I have v bottles in one paw and 6 in the other manus, what do I have?" Student: "A drinking problem."
What is the deviation between a schoolhouse teacher and a train? The instructor says spit your glue out and the railroad train says chew chew chew.

Lawyer'due south 3 Questions

The man walks into a lawyer'due south office and asks: "How much practise you charge?"

The lawyer responds: "I charge $1,000 to answer three questions."

"That's expensive, isn't information technology?"

"Yes. What'south your third question?"

seven Somewhat Clean Jokes For Piece of work

Why won't sharks assault lawyers? Professional courtesy.
What do you telephone call a lawyer who doesn't know the law? A judge.
Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because information technology was soda pressing.
Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died? He was looking for loopholes.
What do your dominate and a slinky have in mutual? They're both fun to lookout tumble down the stairs.
How is Christmas like your job? You lot exercise all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
An organization is similar a tree total of monkeys, all on different limbs at unlike levels. The monkeys on meridian look down and see a tree full of smile faces. The monkeys on the bottom wait up and encounter aught just a***oles.

Begetter And Mother Tell Their Sides Of The Story

A child asked his father, "How were people built-in?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, and then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."

The child and then went to his mother, asked her the aforementioned question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."

The child ran back to his father and said, "You lot lied to me!" His begetter replied, "No, your mom was talking most her side of the family."

11 I once gave my husband the silent treatment for an entire calendar week, at the end of which he declared, "Hey, we're getting along pretty slap-up lately!"

Long Make clean Joke For Seniors

Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Listen Your Own Business organisation & the other was named Trouble.

One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Problem hid while Mind Your Own Business organization counted to one hundred. Listen Your Own Concern began looking for his blood brother behind garbage cans and bushes.

And then he started looking in and under cars until a police force man approached him and asked, "What are yous doing?"

"Playing a game," the boy replied.

"What is your name?" the officer questioned.

"Mind Your Own Business." Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you lot looking for problem?!" The boy replied, "Why, yes."

Johnny's Seven Cats

Instructor: "If I gave y'all ii cats and another ii cats and another 2, how many would you take?"
Johnny: "7."
Instructor: "No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave y'all 2 apples, and another ii apples and some other two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "6."
Teacher: "Expert. At present if I gave you 2 cats, and another two cats and another ii, how many would yous accept?"
Johnny: "Seven!"
Instructor: "Johnny, where in the heck exercise you get 7 from?!"
Johnny: "Considering I've already got a freaking cat!"

Edgy Make clean Joke

Kid one: "Hey, I bet you lot're still a virgin."
Kid two: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ."
Kid one: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, merely ask your sister."
Child i: "I don't take a sister."
Kid ii: "Y'all volition in about 9 months."

MIT Graduate Interview

Reaching the stop of a job interview, the Human being Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Plant of Applied science, "And what starting salary are you lot looking for?"

The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a yr, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a bundle of five weeks holiday, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to l% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a ruddy Corvette?"

The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

The interviewer replies, "Yeah, only you started it."

A Blonde And A Redhead Trying To Run A Ranch

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only take $500.

The redhead tells the blonde, "I volition go to the market place and see if I tin can discover one for under that corporeality. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499.

Having simply ane dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer.

Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to transport the discussion "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come up with the trailer from simply that give-and-take?" The redhead replies, "She'south a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta balderdash.'"

The Ugly Babe Joke

A adult female gets on a bus with her babe. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest babe that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the motorbus and sits down, fuming.

She says to a man next to her, "The driver only insulted me!" The homo says, "You get right up in that location and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

Clean Joke About The Couple's Argument

A married man and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued dorsum and forth, then they stopped for tiffin.

At the counter, the married man asked the blonde waitress, "Before nosotros social club, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?" She leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."

Human being With A Bad Wife Tries To Escape The Cop

A police force officer attempts to stop a auto for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. The man eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over.

The cop approaches the car and says, "It'south been a long day and my shift is almost over, so if yous tin give me a adept excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go."

The guy thinks for a few seconds so says, "My married woman ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might exist that officer trying to give her back."

Semi Clean Joke Nigh Incorrect Four Legs

A wife comes home belatedly one night and quietly opens the door to her sleeping room. From nether the blanket, she sees 4 legs instead of just her husband's two.

She reaches for a baseball game bat and starts hitting the coating as hard every bit she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to accept a beverage. Equally she enters, she sees her hubby in that location, reading a magazine. He says, "How-do-you-do darling, your parents have come up to visit u.s.a., so let them stay in our bedroom. Did you lot say howdy?"

Bank Robber Who Loved Geography

A bank robber pulls out gun points it at the teller, and says, "Requite me all the money or you're geography!" The puzzled teller replies, "Did yous hateful to say 'or you're history?'" The robber says, "Don't change the subject!"

Check Out twenty Best Banker Jokes

Long Clean Joke Virtually The Police

This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the calorie-free on in the shed. George opened the door to get plough off the lite merely saw in that location were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.

He immediately phoned the constabulary, who asked, "Is someone in your house?" and George said, "No," and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were decorated, and that he should only lock his door and an officeholder would exist there when bachelor.

George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the constabulary once more.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds agone because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry nigh them now because I've merely shot them all."

Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.

I of the policemen said to George, "I thought you lot said that yous'd shot them."

George said, "I idea you said there was nobody available."

Funniest Clean Joke Of The Day

A thief stuck a pistol in the man'south ribs and said: "Give me your money."

The human being replied: "Y'all tin can't do this. I'm a congressman."

The thief replied: "In that case, give me my money."

Funny Clean Jokes About Snowmen — Apparently, the snowmen want more than sugar than corn flakes tin can provide.

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Want more really funny jokes?

Then delight bank check out these really funny one liner jokes because they're awesome. Or have a laugh with these 55 Best History Jokes Ever or these 15 Knock Knock Jokes.